you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
