Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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