grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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