The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize