if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
