p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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