I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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