I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
