Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize