So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
