Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
