Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Michael Bay diarrhea
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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