Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Barsexuality is the new black.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
