Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
