I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
