there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
