I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
