Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
from now on my penis is your penis
nutella sex= disaster
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
God I need to hump something, right now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize