May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
