I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
