Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
