Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
