God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
