Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
