I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sober January is a disaster.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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