Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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