Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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