Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
