I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
