I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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