omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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