it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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