This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
