great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
