Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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