id be glad to
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
