that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
