I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize