i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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