Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
