Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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