i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
