He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
