I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i believe in u and ur pee
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