are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
