At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
