The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
