yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
