why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
