PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
