I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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