he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
