I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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