ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
