it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
