but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
