she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
