...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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