I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
