HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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