he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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