Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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