what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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