Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize