I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
