We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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