I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
