i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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