She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
