well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize